So I’ve done it again, extended my stay again. I will be staying in Brussels a 6th night

So I’ve done it again, extended my stay again. I will be staying in Brussels a 6th night; don’t think I’ve ever stayed here for 6 nights before. I did not fancy that 2pm coach going home at all; I will now try to book a full price Eurostar ticket for Friday or Saturday; IF any of my cards still have any credit left. So yesterday was a disaster in the end. In my entire life, whenever I have had one of the great, high, magical nights like Wednesday, the next day I try to repeat it and it turns out to be a disaster. I always tell myself don’t repeat yourself. But what can you do, when going up & down Rue d’Aerschot was so exciting, and then arriving late at Fifth Avenue to see Leyla was so sexy, how could I not retrace my steps the next day? But as always repeating myself I do everything too soon, I am too excited, so I got to Rue d’Aerschot too early and got back to Fifth Avenue too early and Leyla had not arrived yet. She would not be arriving till 5, an hour or so ahead. I carried on drinking but when she arrived I did not even recognise her to be honest. Some girl came in and touched my arm as she passed, and it was the glimpse of white & black check shirt that made me realise it was her. She sat at the back and I made eye contact with her a couple of times as I came out of the toilets and we smiled at each other, but I still carried on sitting at the front of the bar and never said a word to her. After 40 minutes I just saw her leaving with her coat on and though I waited an hour or so hoping she would return, she never did. I left in somewhat of a daze, my mind scrambled. I had been waiting ALL DAY, with increasing excitement to see her again, and then never said a word to her. I stumbled back to Domino’s Pizza in a daze of grief & despair; so frazzled was I after finishing my pizza I went out for a Royal Cheese McDonald’s & large fries, which I could not even half-finish. Suddenly there was no question of going out later to Empire or Gascogne. All my sexual desire had just died. What a fool I was. But I honestly did not recognise this girl I saw in 5th Avenue yesterday; was it really the girl who blew my mind the night before? When things happen naturally & unexpectedly they are magical; as soon as you try to repeat yourself it becomes precise & all the magic dies.

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