Snowing in Brussels at 3am

Snowing in Brussels at 3am. Probably was all night, but I think I must have been in bed by 5 or 6, after staggering back from my Brussels Grill steak. Then slept through to 1, had a wee, back to sleep till 3. So once again I did nothing in Rue d’Aerschot or Fifth. Coming away from Rue d’Aerschot I couldn’t help smiling and laughing to myself, and same while in Fifth, which tells me indeed that my sub-conscious WANTED me to do nothing in Brussels this time, which was why I couldn’t stop smiling and laughing for no apparent reason. The older I get the more I realise my sub-conscious rules my life. It is the massive Nile running underground inside me and it channels my thoughts and actions. It drags me with it. It takes a lot to override it and even then it never feels right, and turns out badly. So I have learnt to listen to it and let it take me where it wants. I have learned my sub-conscious knows best. It knows what is really necessary for my life, and this time NOT to spend any money in Brussels was definitely what was needed. Or maybe it was just telling me the quality is not here right now, save it for something that is worth it, and I will know when that something turns up. There was a moment in Fifth when I turned and caught sight of a Moroccan girl in lumberjack shirt that Leyla wore once, and I thought it was her. My heart started beating fast and I thought to myself I AM going to spend a lot of money after all but then I looked again and realised it was not her. Black bob Tatiana, Emily, Perrie were all there, but I felt no desire for any of them. I check out in 7 hours then have six hours to kill before my train. Probably cheapest just to sit in Cine Paris as long as possible.

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