Tag Archives: beer goggles

I want to drink till the point I want to f–k every woman I see

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I want to drink till the point I want to f–k every woman I see. This is when the Beer Goggles have arrived—now I can go to the prostitutes. Now when I am so numb I cannot feel anything when I am with them. I am too drunk to go to WSK now—but I would like to see Amanda before I go home. Amanda has become the face of Vienna for me. A face of derision and annoyance at my drunkenness, but oh, a lovely face.

At least Vienna has already trumped Munich

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At least Vienna has already trumped Munich, as it does have sex, and trumped Munich & Nuremberg as it has sex in a bar environment, AND has porn cinemas. No matter I drink too much to enjoy any of it. It makes me happy to know it is there. So readily available. But the drinking and drifting off into my own world is what it is all about, and is more important a pleasure than any of the others. If the drink wears off quickly enough to enable me to enjoy some sexual pleasure before I return to the hotel, that is a bonus. Complete numbness of the penis (even when fully erect), and indigestion, are the two prices I pay for my pleasure in this level of drinking. I want the massive beer goggles that it gives me.

—— has politely declined the offer of us sharing a flat together again

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—— has politely declined the offer of us sharing a flat together again; therefore I can continue to devote my life to Tallulah & Esmeralda, with a clear conscience. First of all let me drink till the point I can get no pleasure out of it. I can’t go sightseeing, indeed cannot leave my hotel at all, until I am properly drunk. I don’t want to go out until I am in some kind of narcotic trance, alcoholic daze. This is why Amanda is contemptuous of me. Back on my first visit this year, she blew my mind, as did the Fortuna blonde: I wonder if I will ever have a mind-blowing experience in Vienna again. I keep looking.

I will come to the Dome early tomorrow

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I will come to the Dome early tomorrow on my usual pilgrimage to Gare du Nord, then spend rest of the day snoozing in Cine Paris or Fifth Avenue, before getting back to Midi by 7 for the last train home. I wait for the beer goggles to really take over my eyes, then I will move on. I need to start reading Simenon. Maybe after Cine Paris and Fifth Avenue I can go back and finish the night in Cine Paris. Nothing better than to be woken up by a porn cinema manager to say ‘Monsieur, c’est fini’ and do myself up and stumble home like that. The barmaid’s breasts like two black Zeppelins. Her buttocks, even bigger. This is why I travel.

My holidays need to have a strong cultural element at the heart of them then it makes me feel I have earned the nighttime explorations

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My holidays need to have a strong cultural element at the heart of them, then it makes me feel I have earned the nighttime explorations (I was going to say pleasures but it is more than 5 years since I have actually indulged). I really had such strong feelings for Swedish Pamela, Siberian Olga, Spanish Ana Maria, Romanian Lela, Ukrainian Viktoriya, Slovakian Susi, Romanian Emily, Berliner Riccarda, Polish Iga; I fell so passionately in love with all of these strippers and whores. It is I suppose because I had no one at home and never had so I was really craving love and passion, so that gave me a kind of ‘beer goggles’ when I went to these women. Now five years later, on the other side of finding love with the woman of my life, having passed through that looking glass, I go back to these same places and in some cases meet the same girls and I am stunned how disappointingly unattractive they seem to me; how did I feel such lust for them before? I cannot believe I was ever turned on by them, let alone falling in love with them. I think Swedish Pamela was my favourite of them all. I went to her more than any of the others and at a time when I was so heartbroken in my attempts to get —– to go out with me and thinking I had missed the chance of a lifetime. I was ‘stuck in a moment’ with —– and thought I would never get another chance and that made me need Swedish Pamela so much; and she did have the most amazing breasts. Like a Swedish Brandy Talore. As Melani behind the Atlantic City bar is a German Laura Orsolya.

It is better to stay drunk because then it gives me beer goggles and every woman suddenly looks beautiful

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It is better to stay drunk, because then it gives me beer goggles and every woman suddenly looks beautiful, and one starts to feel turned on; it is better to stay in this aroused state. Debord spent every day searching for the perfect point of inebriation; but of course as soon as it is achieved it is passed, and lost. Drink, giant tropical ferns, fauna and flora, classical music, naked women dancing. This is my lush life. —– gives me incredible freedom within the marriage to enjoy this; but I still have not successfully found the lush life I want. I am still searching for the lushness I feel I need. I tend to concentrate my search in King’s Cross and Soho but think I must search further afield. I found nothing in Brussels, Berlin or Vienna . I have got to find it in me first. You carry the weather with you. I wonder have I ever had a great experience sober? All the great experiences of my life, all the high nights that persuade us to put off suicide, came when I was drunk, I am sure of it. I am not capable of highs, of pleasure, when I am not drunk. When one starts drinking, anything becomes possible. The door to all sorts of pleasures opens. Rubicons can be crossed. Ishtar Gates passed through. Riccarda, Iga, Diana, Yulia, Emily, Martina, would never have happened if I was not drunk. Drink is the precondition for anything happening. “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” Those amazing, amazing nights I had in Munich, Berlin, Brussels, Vienna were all fuelled by drink. Then why was I so unhappy? I had the freedom but craved something real. I was eviscerated by loneliness and emptiness. I was ripe for falling in love with the woman of my life, and then there was —– . “I don’t have a boyfriend in London !” Now I want to go back and enjoy all those places I used to enjoy. So I go back but—I find all those places are dark and closed down, no longer in business, and those that are open are filled with hideous crones, the same crones that excited me so much just 5, 6 years ago. Is loneliness, despair, essential to being able to enjoy the lush life?