I travel for erections; for Priapism; for sexual arousal; I travel for the cock. Is there really no arousal for me back home in London? Almost, almost, almost none. OK I thought about heading down to Cine Paris, but instead stay put & pick up a fourth can of beer. After this one, definitely. 205. No, I will never tire of Brussels. It is such a home from home. As long as Cine Paris, Fifth Avenue and the windows remain, that is. I’ve already lost Cine ABC, Paradise Peep Show & kabins, California Peep Show & kabins, and the street girls have been severely reduced, and perhaps ruled out for me, if I fear being hit by a 350 euro fine by the police. Prostitution is not even illegal in Belgium, street prostitution is not illegal. The fine is just Mayeur’s idea to drive them away.
So, yes, that has been my trip so far. Coach driver from hell, coach trip from hell, astounding astounding 10 out of 10 white vest girl on the boat; underwhelming sight of —- & ——–. See if anything picks up today—but like I say it has to be something random, something completely unexpected. Familiarity kills lust. Even the sexiest floozie, I can only sleep with her once, twice at most, before I lose interest. Anyway, I will never tire or give up on Brussels. Just being here is lovely. Fifth Avenue usually underwhelming, but I have out of the blue met so many 10 out of 10s there that it is always exciting to think about going there. And a proper porn cinema. And the window girls. I went to Fifth Avenue and Empire strip club, but the only real erection I’ve had here in Brussels is watching Sean Paul She Doesn’t Mind video on my TV this morning (and thinking about the white vest girl).
Third beer begun, 140pm. Overcast today but starting to heat up. Honestly don’t think I’m going to do anything naughty on this trip. I always say I’m going to come here like a rutting stag, but in reality my reticence and lack of lust are dominant. To feel lust, it has got to be random, and completely unexpected—like the white vest girl on the boat. I certainly could have —— her like a rutting stag if I’d had the opportunity. Not seen any soldiers yet. Let us not forget it was just 4 weeks ago some loser tried to detonate his bomb in the Central Railway Station, at 8 o’clock at night!
Coming to Café Jimmy and the Rue de Pelican corner I was shocked to find only THREE girls in the street. Approaching the Europe 2000 hotel where I had always gone with Beatris (long gone it seems) there were 4 girls but also 4 police officers and 2 police cars, talking to one of the girls. My god, I thought, they really are enforcing their fines of 350 euros that disgraced ex Mayor Mayeur brought in—for the girl and the customer both if caught. It did not look like they were there to help the girl, it looked like she was the one in trouble. “But this is a hotel” I heard her saying as I passed. This would explain why there are so few girls around now. Mayeur’s sterilisation scheme is absolutely working. Pitiful. And then I walked into Fifth Avenue, and there were just FOUR men and THREE girls! I have never seen it that empty at night. Inna plus 2 other girls at the bar with a couple of very drunk men, making a LOT of noise. While I was there 2 or 3 more girls did emerge, including little Emily who I always feel a tug of lust for despite her slender frame, but she didn’t stay for long.
When at home in London, on the treadmill, I crave the erotic pleasures of Brussels, and think when I get back there I am going to f–k every half-decent floozie I see! But then I get here, and feel nothing but reluctance, and reticence, to get involved, and do anything, even though it is all there on offer. This reluctance, and reticence, only grows & grows the older I get; but still I carry on. Like Phedre “continuing to seduce long after seduction has ceased to be a pleasure”. Like Smiles of a Summer Night, “flirting with rescue when one has no intention of being saved”. Increasingly locked up within myself, I discover I have become LESS rampant the older I get, not more. More confident, more freedom, more money, yet I do less than I ever did before, when I was so much crippled by shame, poverty, etc.
I was shocked to see so few “girls” on the street along the Rue des Commercants drag. There were just 2 girls on the Pelican corner around Café Jimmy, just 2 girls on the street between Pelican and Flamingo, just 2 girls on the Flamingo corner around the old closed Café Flamingo, and then just 2 girls on the Rue des Commercants itself between Flamingo and Fifth Avenue. The Mayor Yvan Mayeur’s determination to “depress” & eradicate the Alhambra scene by fining the girls and their clients 350 euros each is apparently working. Though, again, I was perhaps just too early. The early Fifth Avenue girls were poor too. The couple of Cine Paris films I saw during my brief half-hour stay were OK—OK meaning they were not the sort of thing I would ever watch at home on my computer, but they at least enabled me to get an erection; so in the in between area of being “OK”. The disaster is films that are so bad I cannot even get an erection, and the great pleasure is a film so good that I rush to find it on my computer as soon as I get back home.
Last night I made a rule for myself—in future I will never again enter a brothel/night bar/brasserie à femmes, call them what you will, without ——- one of the girls. Because this is ridiculous. To keep going to these places and keep leaving without having done anything is ridiculous. In future I will force myself to always go with one of the girls before I allow myself to leave. If there is no one I fancy, I will just go with the one that is least bad. That means waiting till I can travel with plenty of money. But I must start this. It is like going to a porn cinema without masturbating. Ridiculous. And never go to Rue d’Aerschot without doing something with one of the girls, too. This too will actually inspire me to save money to make this viable. Now, with this new rule in mind, I look forward to coming back to Brussels again. Even in Manhattan in Vienna in December, there were at least 3 very desirable girls but again I did nothing. This must stop. There is no point travelling at all if I keep doing nothing when I get there.