And Empire was so poor it for sure makes me not want to go back there Wednesday night, and will hesitate a lot about ever going back for a long time after that as well. Without Jennifer—one of the most incredibly beautiful dancers ever—it is really poor. I should only come here on a Friday or a Saturday night when at least the atmosphere is better. In a spirit of defiant masochism I may step into Gascogne tonight, if open, for the ritual 20 euro waste of time with lots of hassle/hustle. And yes the Cine Paris films were no more than OK, but what joy to be sitting again in a proper luxurious porn cinema; of the type that no longer exists in London since the tragic demise of Astral, Sunset and Soho Cinemas. 1153 My first Jupiler of the day finished. Out to shop for a second one.
Yes, so, the “northern route” to Berlin I think is over for me. I see no reason to ever go back there, now Stuttgarter Platz’s golden age is over. So the only route that remains is the “southern route”—Brussels to Munich to Vienna. Second beer gone. 925pm. I expect nothing from Intime or the Reves or the Livourne places, except real rip off expensive hostess bars, a fortune just to buy a girl a drink. Another reason why Fifth Avenue is so wonderful (despite the sad dearth of quality girls); if you want to buy a girl a drink it is normal prices, same for them as for you. Munich died for me when they put private dances up from 25 euros to 50 euros, whenever that happened. And it is funny how it is uniform across every club you go to—in every club it was 25, now in every club it’s 50. It is almost like the city government sets the price for private dances—is that the case? Part of the licencing stipulations (stripulations)? If one club was allowed to undercut the others they would do roaring trade but they do not. One can only presume they are not allowed to. A far cry from the glory days back in 2003, 2004, when Patricia let me get my man out and put some kitchen roll over her breasts to catch the result. Don’t think that kind of thing would happen now. The emasculation-sterilisation-castration of old male Europe continues. The human race will die out eventually; that is the end result of damming up men’s juices in this way. Kind of like where they burn books they will eventually burn people. Where they ban masturbation/pornography/stripclubs they will ban sex. Then the feminazis and the Islamists will be happy. For god’s sake Europe, stand up for your old Priapic rights! One fears it is too late, the tide is already irreversible.
I was thinking to give Gascogne another try on this trip; expecting nothing, just out of masochism, and the fact it is right next to my hotel so easy place for a nightcap. At least Empire has a proper non-stop walkway strip show (topless only). At Gascogne the girls do a little twirl around a pole then come to you for tips; no, fuck off. But anyway, it is closed. Whether temporary for refurbishment of the building or permanently, I cannot say; there is plastic fencing around the building, and scaffolding so might just be refurbishment to stop the building from collapsing. Empire is free entry but 10 euros for small 25cl beers, whereas Gascogne is 20 euros entry with 2 free drinks, so it works out much the same. Empire has a real star in the shape of the Indian-Hungarian Sonia though, the most fabulous figure you will ever see, and Gascogne as far as I know doesn’t.
A strip club where the girls don’t take their knickers off is really really weird, isn’t it. To someone from London it seems so crazy. But they are all like that in Western Europe at least. Brussels, Berlin, Munich, Nuremberg. Only in peepshows do they take everything off.
Berlin has so many memories for me, but (like Munich) that is all it is now, just memories. Memories of Yulia in Hanky Panky (now gone), Riccarda in Mon Cheri (now gone), Iga in Golden Gate (now gone), Olga & Alla in Mazurka (now gone). So sad. The high nights I had in Berlin. Life-changing. I’d had carnal experiences in Soho for years, but Berlin took me to another level entirely, and really opened me up as a human being, and dare I say, as a man. I came out of the chrysalis a butterfly, thanks to Berlin. I bloomed and blossomed thanks to Berlin, and came back to London so much more confident. It is cinema that taught us how to live, said Godard (who I revere). Well, it is strip clubs and floozie bars that taught me how to live. How to talk to women, which is the same thing. So yes, with the wiping out of Stuttgarter Platz Berlin really died for me. The way Soho did with the closure of Carnival Strip, Astral Cinema, Sunset Cinema (and much later Soho Cinema and Boulevard Strip). The place I lost my Vienna Virginity (Pour Platin) is closed down, knocked down, completely gone, a big hole in the Gurtel where it used to be. The place I lost my Berlin virginity is gone, turned into a (s)wanky cocktail bar. Amazingly the place I lost my original virginity, 61 Dean Street Soho, is still open for customers. I include this note for future biographers, and future idolators who may wish to make pilgrimage to the important places of MY life. I remain convinced it will happen. Convinced of my historical importance, even if nobody realises it yet. No one realised Van Gogh’s significance until long after he died; Kafka, etc. Even Samuel Pepys. I am writing and living my life (as a work of art) for posterity.
Coming back from Domino’s last night with my gorgeous pizza, I came to Boulevard Adolphe Max to cross the road and there was about 8 people on my side and 8 people on the other side all standing waiting for the green man to light up to cross, even though the road was completely empty of traffic. Not one of them made the move to cross. What idiocy is this. Let them come to London, and see how people cross the roads in London! Even if 4 lanes of traffic are speeding at you from all directions, people plunge into the traffic and expect it to slow for them. Other cultural differences, strippers in Brussels (and Europe) never take their knickers off. Quite bizarre that repressive old London still only has fully nude striptease. Though that of course just makes you long for more which in London is very hard to come by but in Europe is very easily available. Christ how amazing was ——-’s big arse in that little black thong; and then she even took that little thing off and showed you EVERYTHING. How amazing ——– took her shoes off, and stockings off and knickers off and danced COMPLETELY naked for me.
I am not a bad person, but the only world I feel comfortable in is the world of strip clubs, & brothels, & porn cinemas. The only time I feel at ease, and relaxed, and where I am meant to be; the only time my soul really soars. This precludes me from all normal “healthy” relationships; I feel suffocated, and imprisoned in them. My true nature just becomes ever stronger as I get older; it does not go away; on the contrary, it becomes more insistent; more strident; more unwilling to compromise. There are so many beautiful young women in the world and I want to enjoy as many of them as I can for as long as I can—given I have already lost in London: Carnival Strip, Astral Cinema, Sunset Cinema, Soho Cinema, Boulevard Strip, Peep Show (all of them), Pleasure Lounge; in Berlin: almost ALL of Stuttgarter Platz; in Vienna, Pour Platin and Fortuna Kino; in Brussels California Kabins and Cine ABC; as well as other places I lost before I even knew they existed—the knocking shop right outside the door of Gare du Midi Brussels; the Martin Luther Strasse sex kino in Berlin. Serious ill-health or terrorism or random accident can strike me down at any moment, so I must live every moment as if it is my last. I do not want to die financially healthy with no fantastic memories; I would rather die in extreme debt but with the most fantastic collection of dirty memories, dirty experiences.