149 Having a third Stella here in the Dome; I find I am already becoming increasingly excited at the thought my return to Fifth Avenue is growing ever closer. This is why I travel. The beer goes down so much easier in the Rue D’Aerschot, and in Fifth Avenue, as I know I am right next to the half-naked floozies. How the proximity of a whore excites the blood of a man. A whole bar of them & whole road of them, even more so. So 205 already and still half my beer to finish here in the Dome. I am not behind yesterday at all, all of a sudden. Plus vite, monsieur, otherwise all the windows will be empty!
Well, no Lotta & Sophia on this trip again. That was a once in a lifetime event. 1200 On my third beer of the day. Curious to see who is in Manhattan tonight; then Friday & Saturday I can check out Exzess and Angelique. Suppose I might as well check out Tete a Tete as it is so close (40 metres?). After three cheap days, Brussels day 1, Nuremberg day 2, Wien day 3, I except day 4 will be a little more expensive; though I may save the big splurge for days 5 or 6. But I do feel happier in Vienna than in any other city (including home). Christ, yes, I want to go to the Brocken Mountain, and the Reichenbach Falls, and the Rubicon, and the Milvian Bridge, but the pull of the sleazy nightbars of Vienna and Berlin have a hold on me that will not let go. One day. One day. “The sight of a whore is profoundly thrilling to a man” said Flaubert, and I agree with him so very much. Even if 999 times out of a thousand I won’t do anything with them.
No, I couldn’t do it. Once again I came back to the hotel without having done anything naughty. There is just something about the Rue d’Aerschot environment that kills my ardour despite the girls being the most beautiful whores you are ever likely to see in your life. People told me go to Maxim’s in Vienna, but the Rue d’Aerschot girls are a million times better than Maxim’s scrawny b*tches. Better than Le Coin or Fifth Avenue (1 or 2 possible exceptions) or the street girls of the Rue des Commercants, but still, despite there being at least 3 amazing contenders, I could not bring myself to do anything. Another divine Domino’s Pizza then back to bed. 1115 Monday morning now, my last full day in Brussels. I was awake all night till after 430, masturbating mainly, and I came 3 times in the space of 5 hours; long time since I managed that prodigious feat. Bravo.
I have to get really drunk to find out what my sub-conscious really wants me to do. It is like the oracle of Delphi. To be able to decipher the message this encourages, I have to be in such a state of perfect inebriation. I am not yet at it. So, a 5th can of Jupiler then. Sober, conscious mind in the saddle, I don’t know what to do. Go to the Cine Paris? Or Gare du Nord? Or 5th Avenue? I’ve no idea. But when I drink, my sub-conscious takes over and the river starts to cut its own course, and you do what really feels right; and then you can never go wrong. My eyes are over-developed in me to the detriment of all other organs. I do believe that. My scopophiliac love of SEEING dirty things had made my eyes so much bigger than my heart. My heart has atrophied. All I want to do is feed my EYES’ love of dirty naughty girls. I only go with whores because I want to see them get undressed and be naked. The actual physical act of penetration is the least exciting part of the encounter. My eyes dominance over me has cost me all hope of a desire for real relationships. Are there really other people like me? Even to me, I feel EXTREME.
Here I am in Fifth Avenue surrounded by girls (2 of whom I really like, Lucy & Ayeesha), but all I can think about is a Brussels Grill steak.
How fast I drink in Fifth Avenue. Being in a bar full of whores (who do not approach you but leave you in peace) quickens the blood so much. The metabolism doubles in speed, at least. 305 in Fifth Avenue and it is already busy with men & girls. This place thrives. It WAS a beautiful blue-skied day earlier, but now the skies are slate grey, and it is freezing.