Actually at the moment though my burning memories are all of shame at my pathetic wretched behaviour

Actually, at the moment though my burning memories are all of shame at my pathetic, wretched behaviour, I think what may come shining through over time, like sun burning through early morning fog & rain, are the lovely smiles I got from so many women over the course of the four days. There were really some lovely fleeting moments of attraction during my stay in Brussels and Antwerp. I cannot be such a monster, when some people seemed to take at least some liking to me. Can I?