I think about cancelling the trip to Vienna, but it would make such little difference—the hotel & travel money is already spent & is not refundable (a little bit of refund on the train tickets only)—so the only expense would be a little bit of spending money when there, and I can live very cheaply in Europe if I have to. Better to go and hope to have as delicious an experience as I did here in Brussels.
Guy Fawkes Day. I cannot be too down on myself for the money I have spent on this elongated Brussels trip—it has been a wonderfully pornographic, erotic week, and that is precisely what I try to save my money in London for. Tuesday’s long stay in Rue d’Aerschot was deliciously exciting; Friday’s long stay in Cine Paris was deliciously exciting. My Tuesday night tryst with Leyla was deliciously exciting; if it went wrong after that it was only because I felt too emotional about her and that is not what I go to places like Fifth Avenue for. I go for a purely erotic sexual experience; when I start having feelings for them it all becomes confused.