My holidays need to have a strong cultural element at the heart of them then it makes me feel I have earned the nighttime explorations

My holidays need to have a strong cultural element at the heart of them, then it makes me feel I have earned the nighttime explorations (I was going to say pleasures but it is more than 5 years since I have actually indulged). I really had such strong feelings for Swedish Pamela, Siberian Olga, Spanish Ana Maria, Romanian Lela, Ukrainian Viktoriya, Slovakian Susi, Romanian Emily, Berliner Riccarda, Polish Iga; I fell so passionately in love with all of these strippers and whores. It is I suppose because I had no one at home and never had so I was really craving love and passion, so that gave me a kind of ‘beer goggles’ when I went to these women. Now five years later, on the other side of finding love with the woman of my life, having passed through that looking glass, I go back to these same places and in some cases meet the same girls and I am stunned how disappointingly unattractive they seem to me; how did I feel such lust for them before? I cannot believe I was ever turned on by them, let alone falling in love with them. I think Swedish Pamela was my favourite of them all. I went to her more than any of the others and at a time when I was so heartbroken in my attempts to get —– to go out with me and thinking I had missed the chance of a lifetime. I was ‘stuck in a moment’ with —– and thought I would never get another chance and that made me need Swedish Pamela so much; and she did have the most amazing breasts. Like a Swedish Brandy Talore. As Melani behind the Atlantic City bar is a German Laura Orsolya.

At last, a genuine erection!

At last, a genuine erection! No stars among the Atlantic City dancers, but the girl behind the bar was so voluptuous and gorgeous. How often the best looking girl in a club is the barmaid. She looks like Laura Orsolya, all in black, with big cleavage, so sexy. I bought her a beer and she accepted. Thinking about her this morning.